Life Style

Contrary to what most people believe, leadership is not about power. It is not about harassing people or driving them using fear. It is about encouraging others towards the goal of the organization. It is putting everyone on the same page and helping him or her see the big picture of the organization. You must be a leader not a boss.

People follow others when they see a clear sense of purpose. People will only follow you if they see that you know where you are going. If you yourself do not know where you’re headed to, chances are people will not follow you.

Being a leader is not about what you make others do. It’s about who you are, what you know, and what you do. You are a reflection of what you’re subordinates must be.

Studies have shown that one other bases of good leadership are the trust and confidence your subordinates have of you. Trust and confidence is built on good relationships, trustworthiness, and high ethics.

Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now proceed to communicate the goals and objectives you are to undertake.

Communication is a very important key to good leadership. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be clearly imparted to other people. You must be able to assess situations, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek out a solution.

Leaders are not do-it-all heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should not rely upon your skills alone. You should recognize the skills and talents your subordinates have. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit.

Remember being a leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight.
.

So how do you keep up your self-esteem in a hard-hitting atmosphere? It seems like everywhere you turn. The best way is to know the kinds of people and situations that will bring you down and thwart your efforts to stay focused. Here we will focus on some of these people and situations you need to avoid if possible.

* Negative Work Environment – Beware of the “dog eat dog” theory where each person is fighting just to get ahead. Competition is everyplace. Make sure it is a fair competition.

* Other People’s Behavior – gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders… all these kinds of people will create awful feelings for you

* Changing Environment – Changes challenge our paradigms. Change will be there forever you can’t avoid this one, but can learn to deal with it.

* Past Experience – Don’t let pain change into fear. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

* Negative World View – Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

* Identity – You have your own identity. If your parent is a failure, it doesn’t signify you have to be a failure as well. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

You can’t always avoid or even change a situation. And you certainly aren’t going to have much luck changing a person. You can, however, learn how to avoid such situations and people and deal effectively with those you can’t avoid.

Just putting the above advice into action in your life, you will see your self-esteem grab hold and start to climb. Before long, you will instinctively begin to know when a situation is bad for your self-esteem.

Society is defined as a web of associations, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way every member works for the good of the whole. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

The easiest way to appreciate what is significant to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. Effective relationships require parties to openly convey their feelings and positions on all matters important to the relationship.

In order to build a more effective relationship, parties must treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying genuinely to comprehend how they function. This also means respecting yourself.

One more key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party openly. Work towards a win-win solution for both parties. Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’. Working together works for the whole – and that is what is most important.

*DISTINGUISH FACTS FROM FICTION.

When we disagree with someone, we frequently get worked up over not just the incident that happened, but the judgments we made about the situation and the person, the feelings that were evoked in us and the story we make up about what it all means. Take ownership for your own feelings. The other person didn’t “make you feel” a particular way. They did what they did. You chose to feel the way you did.

*DISTINGUISH MOTIVE AND EMOTIONS

We often assume we know what the other person was intending to do ‘to us’. The only thing we really know is the reaction we had to the other person’s behavior. Recognize that they may not have ‘meant’ to disrespect (or hurt, or ignore or control) you. Also recognize that if you are the perpetrator, just because your motive was innocent, that doesn’t negate the feelings the other person experienced.

*CONVERT COMPLAINTS TO REQUESTS

Imagine that any complaint (yours or another’s) is really a request in disguise. Next time you catch yourself complaining, stop then ask for it! Make the request to someone who has the power to grant it. Complaining or making requests to anyone else won’t get your problem solved.

*START WHERE YOU ARE

Open the dialog with “I’d like to say something, but I’m afraid that I’ll… or you’ll…” You’ll be surprised at the impact that sharing your vulnerability will have on the receptivity of the other person. You’ll also be surprised at how easily the important message will now come out.

*TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION, ROLE OR INFLUENCE.

Recognize that you may have something to do with the continued existence of the problem. Figure out what actions you can take to solve your own dilemma.

*FORGIVE AND GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT.

Forgiveness is not condoning or even accepting. Forgiving someone in your heart who has ‘wronged’ you, just releases your agony. It does nothing for them.

First of all, in the light of creative problem solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Try to understand the problem and have a solid understanding of it. If you know how it works, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have. Sometimes it is these assumptions that impede our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Keep a creative, logical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, try to think how you might make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that resolution.

It pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Always be open to new ideas. It can only be to your advantage to listen to all the ideas each person has. This is particularly correct when the person you are talking to has had experience solving problems comparable to yours. You don’t have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can arrange group reflection on the subject, it would be much better.

Be patient. As long as you keep at it, there is always a probability that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.
.

Intuition is something we all have. It is that small feeling inside that so often leads us to the correct choice. Below are ways to help you learn to hear yours:

* Hypnosis – Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

*Meditation – Meditating means finding peace within. If your mind and heart are cluttered with a lot of baggage, you won’t be able to quiet down that part of you that can initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

* Think positive – By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

*Just let go – Let go of all your inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you can find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn’t come out unless you let go.

*Never expect – After letting go of your inhibitions and all those little things that prevent you from thinking and feeling clearly, by no means expect an answer right away. Give it a little time.

*Trust your first impressions. – When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.

Intuition is helpful, because every now and then it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier made if armed by this gift. Expand your intuition now and harvest benefits you have never imagined.

For the person who is dealing daily with anger problems, it is important to learn skills that will be effective in coping. Below I will cover three skills that may help in this cause. Not all strategies work for all people, so it is necessary to try until you find one that works for you.

*Acupressure. Tapping or rubbing the body achieves this technique. Briskly massaging your body when feeling tense and upset causes an individual’s energy to move around their body, which results in relaxation. It is very difficult to remain angry when your body is relaxed.

* Keep a journal. When an individual writes about the situations that upset them, it helps to get the negative thoughts and emotions out of their head. By journaling about feelings and emotions, a person is able to rid their minds of unhealthy thinking and put them on paper. Keep track of what caused the anger, how your body reacted and what you did. You might further cover alternative ways you could have dealt with the situation. Next time try using the alternative method.

*Remove yourself from the situation.. If a person realizes they have difficulties controlling their temper, they might consider staying away from situations that may cause heated arguments. If a person has a regular pattern of lashing out during specific situations, avoiding the situation altogether should work. Some situations and people just tend to get you going. Avoiding them if at all possible takes away the negative emotion that comes with it.
.
There are so many methods available for learning to control excessive anger. A person who recognizes they have such a problem can choose from so many there is bound to be at least one method that fits their personality. In the long run, taking this time, making this effort, will result in a much happier life for all involved.

What do I really want?
Take time to figure out what you want to do with your life. Find something you enjoy doing and stick with it until you are at your greatest ability. Be the you that you want to be.

Should I really change?
Asking yourself this will help you decide if you are already doing something that you do well and enjoy. Maybe you just aren’t concentrating on an area of your life that you’d like to see grow.

What’s the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?
There’s always the simple way and the correct way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn’t take a whiz kid to perceive yourself as someone exceptional.

Have I done enough for myself?
Unhappiness in each phase can be hazardous in huge doses, but in tiny amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

Am I happy at where I am today?
If the answer is yes, then grab onto this and become the best you can be.

How much could I have?
I assume in this case there is no such thing as having too much or too little, but it’s more on how much you actually require it.

What motivates me?
What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to discover for yourself. There are so many things that can make everybody content, but to decide on one may be the hardest part.

Any person can be capable of having a positive attitude when things are going well. What if truth is told matters more is how you do something when things are going poorly. That is what determines the strength of your moral fiber. An appropriate attitude means feeling optimistic in difficult times. Add up your blessings. Look for the good. Below are six simple yet effective ways to create a positive attitude.

Choose to be Enthusiastic – Think enthusiastically. Talk excitedly. Become passionate by acting passionate. Your thoughts and actions set up your level of enthusiasm.

Think like Tigger – Walk quickly. Place a bounce in your step. A vigorous, hearty handshake indicates you are glad to be alive and happy to be with the other person. A good smile radiates interest. Force yourself to act with enthusiasm, and soon you will feel enthusiastic.

Bring Good News – No one ever made a friend or accomplished something meaningful by transmitting bad news. Good news, on the other hand, promotes good will and spreads enthusiasm. Always aim to make the person you talk to feel better than they otherwise would.

Visualize – All peak performers visualize success. Before you try to do anything, close your eyes and visualize yourself doing it well.

Talk to Yourself – What did you say to yourself today? Did you moan and groan about everyone. What we think is 100% reflected in how we feel. If all we think about is negative thoughts, our actions will be negative.

Love Others – Bring encouragement, optimism, and hope to all that you meet. Help others feel comfortable in your presence. Spread joy and goodwill. Be concerned about the wishes and desires of others. Be understanding, caring, accepting, and forgiving. Become more concerned about helping others achieve their individual desires.

Anger, while a healthy and normal reaction to disturbing situations, can be extreme to the point of violence. When a person experiences habitual episodes of angry or reckless behavior, there’s a problem, one that must be dealt with. Anger management strategies are designed to help an individual return to a healthy, normal life.

Taking a time-out is considered a healthy management approach. Removing oneself from a place or person that makes a person angry is practicing time-out. Go for a walk or leisurely drive. Sometimes a physical activity such as running or playing sports helps release the built up energy. As your energy dissipates, so does the anger.

A second healthy anger management strategy is, owning up to the anger. The anger actually belongs to the distressed person. Only the person who’s experiencing the anger issues can control their outbursts. When we are angry, our bodies react strongly-heart rate increases, muscles tighten and all body systems need to work harder. In the end, the person anger hurts the most is the one experiencing it.

Another healthy anger management strategy is to look back on those situations that troubled an individual and try to uncover ways to make changes. Not only may the person learn to evade these incidents but they may also decide to take what they’ve learned and try to deal with it without bursting into frenzy.

A fourth healthy management strategy is to confront the situation or person. Talk to the person or people involved calmly and try to resolve the cause of the problem. Often matters can be quickly worked out to the satisfaction of both parties involved. If they can’t, it may be worth just walking away and deciding to agree to disagree.

Anger serves a purpose in our lives but don’t allow excessive anger destroy yours.